Sunday, January 4, 2009

Learning

It is funny, I was recently speaking to a lover from over 20 years ago. She was talking to me about how hot we were because we took the time to learn each others likes and dislikes. I remember not knowing her body and explored it concentrating in places more when she reacted favorably. We rarely talked about what we liked or wanted. Probably didn't do certain things because we were to shy to ask. I wonder if it would have been better with words. You see I have to say that the biggest turn on sexually for me is to have a lover that knows what she wants and how to get if from or with me. Whether it is a verbalized request or a movement of our bodies the most spectacular moments in my sexual life is when passion focused by direction. No sloppy grabbing, pinching, pushing, but intentional touching.

Now I can say surprises are great. Doing something spontaneous that is found remarkably pleasurable and unexpected is wonderful. Like my old lover and I can think of one thing that rolls around in my head since that really turns me on. A moment of spontaneity that led to a fabulous orgasm for both of us and yet neither knew we would enjoy it so much.

It is like playing a complex video game. Scrambling around a level finding the hidden items that gives you the power to move on or reading the cheat sheets from the internet. Either way you get what you want, one harder but both satisfying.


So I wonder how hard it is for you who by reading this must have some sexual comfort, how do you mostly communicate. Do you tell, show, or simply react. I wonder in part because as I am slowly moving back to writing stories I want to make them resonant more with my readers by adding some reality.



So my question is to you want your lover to play the game or get a cheap sheet?

7 comments:

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Rae said...

Well, I guess I have an interesting thing going with Naughty, because while we talk about what we like a lot, both of us just sort of use what turns us on individually and see how it goes.

I think so much of the good comes when we get turned on just from what turns the other person on.

But that's just me. ;-)

xoxo

Bunny said...

Sometimes I show, sometimes I tell. And sometimes I just let him fumble around and find new things I never knew I'd enjoy. It all depends on the day and the mood. Showing is easier for me than telling, because I feel a little awkward (still!) talking about what I like. Sort of like "nice girls don't do that" except everyone knows I'm not a nice girl. Oh, the hang-ups that hang around even into middle age!

Flat Coke and Flies said...

Sometimes it's hard to talk because of the fear it might make the guy feel inadequate or like he isn't doing the right thing. Even if you move his hand from one area to another, it might make him feel he wasn't doing something RIGHT. I'm sure guys view this totally different.

How was your trip?

having my cake said...

We make encouraging noises and discuss what we liked afterwards. Hopefully we can remember to try those things again next time. We both do a lot of research on the internet and bring techniques and toys to bed, without prior warning, to see what works and what doesnt for us. Ruf is an enthusiastic fiddler and sometimes he just loiters down there and sees what gets the biggest reaction :)

Edtime Stories said...

Thank you all for commenting. I like what you said.
flat I think you are right about some men. I like soft guidance because for me the act should be about mutual pleasure and I would want to be offering pleasure just not taking it.